If You Go Where You Have Never Gone, Do What You Have Never Done, and Say What You Have Never Said, You Will Become the Woman You Have Always Known Yourself to Be
What happens when you go, do, and say beyond your comfort zone: a feature on women returning to their truest selves.
When Amina, a 34-year-old teacher from Nairobi, packed a small bag and boarded a night bus to Mombasa, she wasn’t just chasing a weekend escape. She was chasing herself.
“I’d never traveled alone before,” she admitted. “I was terrified, but I also felt this strange sense of relief. I kept thinking—if I don’t do this now, when will I?”
That trip, she says, was less about the beach and more about reclaiming a piece of herself. “For the first time in years, I felt like I wasn’t living for anyone else’s expectations.”
Her story echoes a larger truth: There comes a point in every woman’s life when the familiar paths lose their appeal. The routines that once offered comfort begin to feel like cages. The habits, conversations, and choices that once defined us no longer align with who we sense we could become. Deep down, many of us hear a whisper that insists we are capable of more. The whisper says: If you go where you have never gone, do what you have never done, and say what you have never said, you will become the woman you have always known yourself to be.
The Geography of Growth
Going where you have never gone is not always about foreign stamps in a passport. It’s about displacing yourself from the familiar so that new parts of you can emerge.
Psychologists often speak of “environmental cues”—the way places remind us who we are supposed to be. The kitchen where you cook, the office where you obey deadlines, the street where you grew up—all of them whisper versions of your identity back to you. To leave them, even briefly, is to loosen their grip.
For Maria Lopez, a software engineer in Houston, that meant moving from her corporate cubicle to a co-working space filled with entrepreneurs.
“I’d always wanted to start my own company, but I didn’t believe I was the type,” she told The Women Post. “Then, suddenly, I was surrounded by women pitching investors, designing apps, running teams. Just being in that room made me feel like maybe I could be that type after all.”
Her first startup attempt failed. Her second is now thriving. “I would never have found the nerve if I hadn’t physically placed myself somewhere new.”
The geography of growth often begins with geography itself.
The First Unfamiliar Action
But location alone doesn’t transform us. We also have to do something different.
Change has a physicality. It requires action—registering for a course, showing up to the gym, writing the first paragraph of a novel, pressing “publish” on a blog post, or simply saying “yes” when you’d normally decline.
Take Janet, a 46-year-old mother of two in London. After her divorce, she realized she had been putting off her dream of learning to play the piano. “It seemed indulgent,” she said. “There was always something more urgent—work deadlines, the kids’ needs, bills.”
Then, on her birthday, she booked her first lesson. “I walked into that studio shaking. I kept thinking, this is ridiculous—I’m too old. But within five minutes, my hands on those keys, I felt joy I hadn’t felt since childhood.”
Now, four years later, she plays every evening. “It wasn’t about becoming a pianist. It was about proving to myself that I could do something purely because it made me feel alive.”
Doing what you’ve never done doesn’t guarantee success, but it guarantees movement. And movement is what disrupts the inertia of the self you’ve outgrown.
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The Words We Swallow
Perhaps the hardest—and most transformative—step is saying what we have never said.
Lina, a marketing executive from Toronto, recalls sitting in a boardroom as a colleague presented her ideas as his own. “I’d been through that before,” she said. “Normally, I’d just bite my tongue. But something in me broke that day.”
When the presentation ended, she spoke up. Calmly but firmly, she said: “Those ideas came from the strategy memo I submitted last week. I’d like my contributions to be recognized.”
The room fell silent. Her colleague flushed. Her boss nodded and gave her credit.
“It was one sentence,” she told me, “but it changed everything. I walked out of that room taller. I realized I’d been silencing myself for years—not just at work, but in relationships, too. That one sentence was like turning on a light.”
The words we swallow shape the women we suppress. The words we release shape the women we become.
The Woman Waiting Inside
In every interview, what struck me was that none of these women described their transformations as becoming someone new. They all used language of returning, reclaiming, or uncovering.
Psychologist Dr. Elaine Harper explains it this way: “Most of us have an internal vision of ourselves that we form in adolescence or young adulthood—a sense of the woman we could be if fear and obligation didn’t hold us back. Life piles on expectations, and we bury that vision. But she never leaves us. She waits.”
This explains why change often feels like homecoming. When Amina traveled to Mombasa, when Maria joined that co-working space, when Janet pressed her fingers to piano keys, when Lina spoke in the boardroom—they weren’t inventing new selves. They were meeting the woman they had always known themselves to be.
The Resistance We Face
Of course, this journey is rarely smooth. Every woman I spoke to admitted they faced resistance—sometimes from within, sometimes from those around them.
Janet’s children laughed at her at first. “Mum, you? Piano lessons?!” they teased.
Maria’s colleagues rolled their eyes. “You’ll be back in a cubicle in six months.”
Lina’s coworker didn’t speak to her for weeks after she claimed her credit.
And then there’s the internal resistance: fear, guilt, imposter syndrome.
But resistance, as Dr. Harper notes, is not failure. “Fear is a signpost. It shows you where the door to growth is located. If you feel afraid, chances are you’re standing right in front of the threshold of who you’re meant to become.”
A Blueprint for Transformation
So how can more women step into this path? The stories suggest a simple blueprint:
Go somewhere new. It doesn’t have to be far. Try a different neighborhood, a conference, or even a local library you’ve never entered. New spaces reset the brain.
Do one small, brave act. It could be as humble as joining a class or as bold as quitting a job. The size matters less than the fact that it disrupts your pattern.
Say one unspoken truth. Start with yourself, if that feels safer. Then share it with someone you trust. Eventually, speak it into the world.
Each of these actions is a seed. Together, they grow into the woman you’ve always known.
A Return to Self
When I asked Amina, months after her bus trip, what she had discovered, she smiled.
“I thought I was going away to escape my life. But I wasn’t running away. I was walking toward myself. I realized I’d always pictured this woman in my mind—confident, independent, unafraid to take up space. She wasn’t a stranger. She was me, waiting for me to finally arrive.”
Her words echo the heart of this journey. Transformation is not about reinvention—it is about reunion.
So the invitation is clear: Go. Do. Say.
The woman you have always known yourself to be is waiting.
✨ Before You Click Away! ✨
This story is part of our mission to amplify women’s voices, journeys, and transformations. We’re working to raise $5,000 over the next four months to sustain our platform development, cover hosting costs, and expand our storytelling.
If this piece resonated with you, we invite you to upgrade to our annual plan. As a thank-you, annual subscribers receive 40% off for a limited time—and your support directly fuels the stories that inspire and empower women like you.
👉 Click on the offer button to upgrade to the Annual Plan & Support Our Work
Together, we can ensure these stories continue to reach and uplift women everywhere. 💜