As advocates push to end violence against women, Taylor Frankie Paul, a Mormon influencer, raises uncomfortable questions about accountability, credibility, and the cost of inconsistency.
I have real concerns about this take, while saying interpersonal relationships are complicated, the tone of this is still incredibly judgmental.
There are no “perfect” victims, there are no “perfect” ways to speak out or tell your story or seek help. While I appreciate the broader message, it isn’t the burden of victims to appear more believable. Violence isn’t always an intent to harm, nor am I saying it should be excused, but there is a way to say this without shaming another victim of the exact violence you speak of. I would hate to be a woman/victim of domestic violence and see this opinion presented as “bad for the cause”.
Came here to say pretty much the same thing. I find this opinion does more in service of the patriarchy than anything else. This is a familiar attitude that has hurt so many women survivors in the past when they finally crack and fight back because of years of abuse while the real abuser, tellingly, quietly and calmly films it (Spears, Heard ... the list goes on and on).
This woman was already held accountable, paid the consequences, made her amends, and moved forward. It galls me that any woman who claims to be a feminist thinks she needs to be further made example of, for what, "making the movement look bad"? Gross.
I wish more women would get feral. I've had enough of women who are ready to pile on the "HOLD A WOMEN ACCOUNTABLE IN WAYS FAR BEYOND ANY MAN EVER IS" train. A god damned rapist and pedophile is the president of the US, and the Epstein pedophile oligarch class run the world. And we want to further hold this woman to account?
Maybe women should start getting violent, nothing else has worked so far to reduce VAWG/IPV/SA/CSA. By law, an oppressed person, or people, have the right to violently oppose their oppression. Let that sink in.
My feminism allows women to be messy. When I see a woman get violent towards a male partner my question is always, how bad did it have to be to get her to that place?
Liz Plank wrote a far more nuanced piece from, what appears to me, a greater understanding of intimate partner violence.
Yes, exactly! I saw the title and just felt the victim blaming for something she had already been held accountable, it is unnecessary for anyone else to pile onto her. This entire take is about Taylor, but doesn’t include all she’s been through (Especially with Dakota) the context of their situation adds an ENORMOUS amount of information to a complicated situation, and this author doesn’t seem to be aware of any dynamics of an abusive relationship.
Thank you for also saying something, I sometimes believe I am being too harsh or some other negative adjective and always wonder if I could’ve said it another way for more impact, but I am exhausted by caring for individuals feelings who are not educated on the topic they’re discussing but I continue to treat them as humans. We all make mistakes, we shouldn’t be so quick to make an example out of ANYONE.
I have real concerns about this take, while saying interpersonal relationships are complicated, the tone of this is still incredibly judgmental.
There are no “perfect” victims, there are no “perfect” ways to speak out or tell your story or seek help. While I appreciate the broader message, it isn’t the burden of victims to appear more believable. Violence isn’t always an intent to harm, nor am I saying it should be excused, but there is a way to say this without shaming another victim of the exact violence you speak of. I would hate to be a woman/victim of domestic violence and see this opinion presented as “bad for the cause”.
Came here to say pretty much the same thing. I find this opinion does more in service of the patriarchy than anything else. This is a familiar attitude that has hurt so many women survivors in the past when they finally crack and fight back because of years of abuse while the real abuser, tellingly, quietly and calmly films it (Spears, Heard ... the list goes on and on).
This woman was already held accountable, paid the consequences, made her amends, and moved forward. It galls me that any woman who claims to be a feminist thinks she needs to be further made example of, for what, "making the movement look bad"? Gross.
I wish more women would get feral. I've had enough of women who are ready to pile on the "HOLD A WOMEN ACCOUNTABLE IN WAYS FAR BEYOND ANY MAN EVER IS" train. A god damned rapist and pedophile is the president of the US, and the Epstein pedophile oligarch class run the world. And we want to further hold this woman to account?
Maybe women should start getting violent, nothing else has worked so far to reduce VAWG/IPV/SA/CSA. By law, an oppressed person, or people, have the right to violently oppose their oppression. Let that sink in.
My feminism allows women to be messy. When I see a woman get violent towards a male partner my question is always, how bad did it have to be to get her to that place?
Liz Plank wrote a far more nuanced piece from, what appears to me, a greater understanding of intimate partner violence.
https://lizplank.substack.com/p/momfluencer-faces-more-consequences
Yes, exactly! I saw the title and just felt the victim blaming for something she had already been held accountable, it is unnecessary for anyone else to pile onto her. This entire take is about Taylor, but doesn’t include all she’s been through (Especially with Dakota) the context of their situation adds an ENORMOUS amount of information to a complicated situation, and this author doesn’t seem to be aware of any dynamics of an abusive relationship.
Thank you for also saying something, I sometimes believe I am being too harsh or some other negative adjective and always wonder if I could’ve said it another way for more impact, but I am exhausted by caring for individuals feelings who are not educated on the topic they’re discussing but I continue to treat them as humans. We all make mistakes, we shouldn’t be so quick to make an example out of ANYONE.